Being Middle Aged

I feel so overwhelmed by the outpouring of love sent my way for my birthday. I am touched by all those that took time out of their day to wish me a happy birthday via social media, text, calls, emails, and messenger. My friend, I am honored to share this crazy journey of life together.

At 45 years old, I am sitting here contemplating where I have been, where I am now, where I am going and what lessons I have learned, especially since I am now officially considered middle-aged.

Where I have been …

There has been so much joy and love in my life on many levels. With that, there has been so much great loss and tragedy. You see, you cannot have great love without great loss.  I would have rather have the great love and experience the great loss than no love at all. Loss comes in many forms in life, it’s all part of the journey to teach us, love, to teach us faith, to teach us how to rise above and move through it. It is about finding your true north which is in the center of your heart space. When you follow every path right back to your heart you will never be lead astray.

The struggle with loving myself, setting boundaries, saying no, worrying about what other people think was real for me in the past. I gave ALL of myself to everyone else in my life. I struggled with knowing myself and my true purpose. The yo-yo of relationships were especially daunting as I kept attracting the same people into my life.

Where I am now

I realize that loss is a part of life. I know that each loss comes with a lesson for me to grow. If it is the loss of a loved one, I know they never really leave me and that there is some purpose in them no longer existing on this physical earth. If it is another kind of loss, I know that it was not meant to be in my life, the door closed, and I should quit banging on it so I can see the new door. The new door often brings about greater opportunities that lead me more into my purpose.

I have learned that tomorrow is never promised. It is important to be present in this moment and always tell those important to you how much you love and appreciate them.

I am not going to wait until retirement to live my life to the fullest. I am doing everything I can to have fun along the way so I never feel a missed opportunity.

Let that shit go! The small stuff is really not important. Do not take things personally and realize that you have control of how you feel. If I start to harbor any negative feelings, I keep my eye on the bigger picture … that my life is beautiful and I am blessed on every level of it.

I trust everything is always in Divine order for my highest good. I am committed to loving and honoring myself in every way. I have healed and made amends for the past. I have forgiven myself. Once I got to know myself and evolved into my own best-friend I actually enjoy spending time with her.

Commit to you! I am for once in my life, putting myself first. I am committed to the journey of loving myself and following my dreams.

I have learned we are a mirror in this life, that we attract what we put out there. I finally attracted a beautiful man in my life, who has become my husband and best friend. It is a beautiful thing to grow together and over the past eight years, our relationship continues to get better and better. It a blessing to be in a relationship where I can completely be myself, that I am supported and that I am honored and respect in every way. Guess what? I have learned I deserve it!

Where am I going?

You never know what life has in store for any of us. My ticket could come up at any time. All I can say is that I will do my best to live this life as if it is on loan from God and I plan on paying it back with interest.

To me, this means I will lead in love, continue my journey of loving myself, and healing the past as it really is an ongoing thing. I will do my best to leave my stamp of love in this world and hope it inspires at least one person to do the same.

This is how we change the world, my friend.

I would love to hear the biggest lesson you have learned in your life, comment below.

I love you! Thank you for being a part of my journey, I am blessed to have you in my life.

Love,

Kim